June 30, 2013
Lindsay: What happened to you?
Tobias: What? Oh, oh, oh, my ears. The doctor said I can’t go to sleep for five hours, or I might die or something.
[Shouting] OH! I GOT BLOWN, SO I CAN’T SLEEP!
We thought this idea by hellyeahllison was the perfect way to remind you all that we’re not dead!

Lindsay: What happened to you?

Tobias: What? Oh, oh, oh, my ears. The doctor said I can’t go to sleep for five hours, or I might die or something.

[Shouting] OH! I GOT BLOWN, SO I CAN’T SLEEP!

We thought this idea by hellyeahllison was the perfect way to remind you all that we’re not dead!

March 28, 2013
Tobias: Oh, stop booing. There’s nothing wrong with it. There are dozens of us. Dozens!

Tobias: Oh, stop booing. There’s nothing wrong with it. There are dozens of us. Dozens!

January 23, 2013
Narrator: Gob and Tobias, meanwhile, were brainstorming at a local coffee shop.
Gob: I need a cup of coffee to focus.
Tobias: It’s so crowded in here. I can’t think. Okay, what is it that people need?

Narrator: Gob and Tobias, meanwhile, were brainstorming at a local coffee shop.

Gob: I need a cup of coffee to focus.

Tobias: It’s so crowded in here. I can’t think. Okay, what is it that people need?

January 13, 2013
Tobias (reading): “…for there’s a man inside me, and only when he’s finally out can I walk free of pain.”

Tobias (reading): “…for there’s a man inside me, and only when he’s finally out can I walk free of pain.”

January 6, 2013
Tobias: Oh, yes, I’m going to be a great mole.
[into mic] Check, two, three. Let Lily lick Lionel’s lusty leathers.

Tobias: Oh, yes, I’m going to be a great mole.

[into mic] Check, two, three. Let Lily lick Lionel’s lusty leathers.

January 4, 2013
Hot Cop #5: This is our club now.
Narrator: Tobias didn’t want to sell his new club, but Lindsay did, which is why she hired several members of a local stripper agency called “The Hot Cops” to pose as the roughnecks. 
Tobias: All right, fellas, look. I know you know nothing but a life on the street, but I’d like to offer you something that the Queen Mary gave me: The joy of the stage.
So, maybe you could, uh, start jeté-ing and stop je-…terrorizing me.

Hot Cop #5: This is our club now.

Narrator: Tobias didn’t want to sell his new club, but Lindsay did, which is why she hired several members of a local stripper agency called “The Hot Cops” to pose as the roughnecks. 

Tobias: All right, fellas, look. I know you know nothing but a life on the street, but I’d like to offer you something that the Queen Mary gave me: The joy of the stage.

So, maybe you could, uh, start jeté-ing and stop je-…terrorizing me.

January 3, 2013
Tobias: I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you’ll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block.

Tobias: I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you’ll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block.

January 2, 2013
Tobias: I think the world is about to fall in love with Frightened Inmate Number 2.

Tobias: I think the world is about to fall in love with Frightened Inmate Number 2.