March 28, 2013
Tobias: Oh, stop booing. There’s nothing wrong with it. There are dozens of us. Dozens!

Tobias: Oh, stop booing. There’s nothing wrong with it. There are dozens of us. Dozens!

March 11, 2013

Gob: Speech, speech, speech!

All: Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech…

Narrator: The family continued to chant “speech, speech, speech” for no one in particular.

All: …speech, speech, speech!

Michael: Gee, after all that, I was kind of hoping somebody would make a speech.

Buster: Speech, speech, speech!

Michael: All right, I’ll say something.

Gob: Typical.

March 7, 2013
George Sr: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?!
J. Walter Weatherman: And that’s why you always leave a note.

George Sr: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?!

J. Walter Weatherman: And that’s why you always leave a note.

March 7, 2013
Welcome, my friends; sit yourselves down.

Hello, new followers. Marry me!

Also, you can all follow us on Twitter now: @lesmiserabluths 

And don’t edit this for your broadcast so it looks like I’m screaming “I killed Earl Milford!”

[Startling confession tonight at 11!]

March 7, 2013
Lucille: Did he say that? Did he say that he misses me? Does he need his wife’s embrace?
George Sr: Daddy horny, Michael.
Michael: He said some wonderful things.

Lucille: Did he say that? Did he say that he misses me? Does he need his wife’s embrace?

George Sr: Daddy horny, Michael.

Michael: He said some wonderful things.

March 5, 2013
[Lindsay tries to cry.]
Michael: Seriously, you’re going to pull a muscle.
Lindsay: I used to be able to do this.

[Lindsay tries to cry.]

Michael: Seriously, you’re going to pull a muscle.

Lindsay: I used to be able to do this.

February 27, 2013
Lucille: She’ll sell the company, or break it up into little parts or something, all under the guise of “caring” about our family.
Michael: You’ve got to stop quoting when you drink.

Lucille: She’ll sell the company, or break it up into little parts or something, all under the guise of “caring” about our family.

Michael: You’ve got to stop quoting when you drink.

February 19, 2013
Narrator: And Buster went to his job as a dishwasher.
Buster: This is great! We’re like slave buddies! [giggles]

Narrator: And Buster went to his job as a dishwasher.

Buster: This is great! We’re like slave buddies! [giggles]

February 5, 2013
Lindsay: Michael, it was shoplifting, and I’m white. I think I’m going to be okay.

Lindsay: Michael, it was shoplifting, and I’m white. I think I’m going to be okay.

January 31, 2013
Gob: You know what? The trick is on you, Tony Wonder. I’m the magician. He’s the assistant. We don’t need him. The real Sword of Destiny trick hasn’t even been performed yet. Ta-da!

Gob: You know what? The trick is on you, Tony Wonder. I’m the magician. He’s the assistant. We don’t need him. The real Sword of Destiny trick hasn’t even been performed yet. Ta-da!