George Sr: There’s a good chance I may have committed some light treason.
George Sr: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?!
J. Walter Weatherman: And that’s why you always leave a note.
Lucille: Did he say that? Did he say that he misses me? Does he need his wife’s embrace?
George Sr: Daddy horny, Michael.
Michael: He said some wonderful things.
George Sr: Lucille. Hi. This is not what it looks like.
Lucille: It looks like you’re tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.
George Sr: Yep. Yeah, that’s it.
Cindi Lightballoon: I’m a mole.
George Sr.: You know, God… God doesn’t care how big your teeth are. Yes, you could go to a dentist and you could, whoo… you could grind off about - I don’t know - 30 percent, maybe more. Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it.
Maeby: Well, he’s here.
George Sr: Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?
George Michael: We thought you broke out of prison and were on the lam with stolen hair.