March 7, 2013
George Sr: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?!
J. Walter Weatherman: And that’s why you always leave a note.

George Sr: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?!

J. Walter Weatherman: And that’s why you always leave a note.

March 7, 2013
Lucille: Did he say that? Did he say that he misses me? Does he need his wife’s embrace?
George Sr: Daddy horny, Michael.
Michael: He said some wonderful things.

Lucille: Did he say that? Did he say that he misses me? Does he need his wife’s embrace?

George Sr: Daddy horny, Michael.

Michael: He said some wonderful things.

January 29, 2013
Lucille: George!
George Sr: Lucille. Hi. This is not what it looks like.
Lucille: It looks like you’re tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.
George Sr: Yep. Yeah, that’s it.

Lucille: George!

George Sr: Lucille. Hi. This is not what it looks like.

Lucille: It looks like you’re tweaking her nipples through a chain-link fence.

George Sr: Yep. Yeah, that’s it.

January 21, 2013
Michael: Did I just wake you up? I didn’t even know you were home.
Lindsay: No, Michael, I don’t just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.

Michael: Did I just wake you up? I didn’t even know you were home.

Lindsay: No, Michael, I don’t just sleep all day.

Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.

January 5, 2013
Marta: I was really worried about you.
Gob: You’ve got nothing to worry about. We’re going to be together for a long time.
Marta: We’re a family now. I am so happy. I’m going to call the kids. [leaves]
Gob: …I’ve made a huge mistake.

Marta: I was really worried about you.

Gob: You’ve got nothing to worry about. We’re going to be together for a long time.

Marta: We’re a family now. I am so happy. I’m going to call the kids. [leaves]

Gob: …I’ve made a huge mistake.

January 3, 2013
Tobias: I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you’ll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block.

Tobias: I will pack your sweet pink mouth with so much ice cream you’ll be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on the block.

January 3, 2013
Maeby: Well, he’s here.
George Sr: Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?
George Michael: We thought you broke out of prison and were on the lam with stolen hair. 

Maeby: Well, he’s here.

George Sr: Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?

George Michael: We thought you broke out of prison and were on the lam with stolen hair. 

January 2, 2013

Lindsay: In any event, your punishment is over. Come on, Maeby. Let’s go.

Lucille: She’s not going anywhere. We’re having fun. Here, Maeby, try this on.

Lindsay: I see. Fine. I was going to take her out for ice cream, but if you’d rather stay here, well, that’s just fine with me.

Maeby: Well, we can go get some ice cream, Gangee. That would be fun, right?

Lucille: I don’t think so. That chubby little wrist of yours is testing the tensile strength of this bracelet as it is.