January 3, 2013
Maeby: Well, he’s here.
George Sr: Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?
George Michael: We thought you broke out of prison and were on the lam with stolen hair. 

Maeby: Well, he’s here.

George Sr: Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?

George Michael: We thought you broke out of prison and were on the lam with stolen hair. 

January 3, 2013
Wayne Jarvis: I’ve used one adjective to describe myself. What is it?
Michael: Professional.

Wayne Jarvis: I’ve used one adjective to describe myself. What is it?

Michael: Professional.

January 3, 2013
Lucille: Shh. Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh.
Michael: What’s this? What’s happening?
Lucille: It’s going to be all right.
Michael: Why are you squeezing me with your body?
Lucille: It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you.

Lucille: Shh. Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh.

Michael: What’s this? What’s happening?

Lucille: It’s going to be all right.

Michael: Why are you squeezing me with your body?

Lucille: It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you.

January 3, 2013
Annyong: Annyong.

Annyong: Annyong.

January 3, 2013

Narrator: Lindsay, meanwhile, was having trouble…

Lindsay: …great body.

Narrator: finding her homeless man.

Lindsay: He looked like a movie star.

Narrator: In fact, the man looked like a movie star because he was a movie star.

His name was Tom Jane, and he was making two movies for a major studio. One was a gritty personal project about a junkie’s life, which he only got to do in exchange for making a rigidly formulaic popcorn movie. He was living on the streets researching his role.

January 3, 2013
Lionel: And the soup of the day is bread.

Lionel: And the soup of the day is bread.

January 3, 2013
Rita: I’m not a prostitute.
Michael: Then I shall let you live. (Chuckles.)

Rita: I’m not a prostitute.

Michael: Then I shall let you live. (Chuckles.)

January 3, 2013
Buster: Wow. We’re just blowing through nap time, aren’t we?

Buster: Wow. We’re just blowing through nap time, aren’t we?

January 3, 2013
Buster: At Risk Male Youth. That spells “Army.”
Narrator: And that’s when Buster discovered a recruiting pool the government had been fishing for years.

Buster: At Risk Male Youth. That spells “Army.”

Narrator: And that’s when Buster discovered a recruiting pool the government had been fishing for years.

January 2, 2013
Steve Holt: STEVE HOLT!

Steve Holt: STEVE HOLT!